Wasureru
by Lacertae
Summary: A fourteen year old Akatsuki member finds herself visiting the Kazekage, her childhood crush. The emotions are buried beneath years of dust, but it's all clear when she sees him again. Will she betray Akatsuki for him? GaaxOC
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. :(

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**_Wasureru_**

_Prologue_

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_Heavy rains drowned the village that I used to call home. A thick fog rolled in from the surrounding forests. A twig snapped within the serene area, and the silence that followed ensured trouble._

_I used my katana to cut a path through the thick trees. Vaguely, I heard the splash that accompanied my determined steps. I had a mission, and nothing could stop me from completing it. The gray day would provide cover as I proved myself to my leader._

_If I failed—no, failing wasn't an option. If I did not succeed in destroying my village and capturing the four-tailed demon, I would be unwelcome amongst my kind. I would part ways with Akatsuki._

_It was surprising when I finally reached the address the leader had given me. No words can describe my expression as I found myself on the doorstep of my grandfather's home. Signaling for my companion, I stood before the doorway to my past as if it were the very gates of heaven. If they were the gates of heaven, I would be forced to knock them down._

_I turned my head as Deidara took out a wall with his explosives. I heard people screaming from inside, and I slaughtered them as they ran out. If the address were correct, then the four-tailed demon was closer to me than I thought possible. _

_The demon was my sister, Oren..._

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_Author Rant_

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This is the short prologue to the story. Yes, this is the sequel to **Kagami**, but it is not focusing on Oren any longer.

This is a GaaraxOC fic! I wanted to make that clear.

Oren will continue to pop up every now and then, since this OC is Oren's sister. The two siblings were very close when they were younger, and one can tell as the story goes on.

The title of the story basically means "forget" in Japanese. I love giving my stories short Japanese titles.

Next Chapter: **Emotion**

Reviews are loverly, people!

_Ja ne._


	2. Emotion

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. :(

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**_Emotion_**

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I never wanted to hurt him. I remember the way his body seemed to float there. He was completely vulnerable. He was dying.

For my strength, for helping my current partner to succeed, I was welcomed into Akatsuki. It was a small price, right? I betrayed the one person I dared to hold my fragile heart. I was scum.

"I will stop you before you can begin. I do not wish to discuss art." I spoke to the man above me.

My legs ached, but I refused to let the pain show. I jumped from branch to branch in an attempt to keep up with the artistic man known as Deidara. He didn't seem happy that I brushed off his big speech on art, but I didn't want to listen to his voice. It made me sick.

"Kiyo. Were you thinking of the _jinchuuriki_, un?" Deidara lowered his bird so that we could converse.

"Now isn't the time, Deidara. The four-tailed demon managed to disappear from a burning building. Not to mention the unexplainable chakra that seemed to appear and vanish along with it," I said as my foot slipped on the branch.

Deidara grasped my arm. Dangling above the forest floor, I looked up at him with a blank expression. He knew that I was grateful, and he pulled me onto his bird so that I wouldn't have to walk.

"It, un? Do you mean your sister?" He gave me a mischievous look and had his bird do a nosedive into a canyon.

"I have no family...not anymore," I said and whispered the last part.

"Leader won't be pleased with us, un." He was serious, but his expression seemed lighthearted.

"I will accept the blame for the mission's failure." As I spoke, my earpiece buzzed to signal the leader's presence. "The village was reprimanded for not following your orders; however, the target escaped. In the midst of the fire in the Nakamura compound, someone slipped in and escaped with the _jinchuuriki_," I reported to the leader.

"Failure will not be tolerated." The single sentence was all that he said; it was all that was necessary to get the point across.

"Looks like I lost my _jinchuuriki_ mission. I know it's going to go to that ass, Uchiha!" I snarled and joined Deidara in glaring out our mental images of Itachi.

"We could try to infiltrate Konoha, un. Or, we could go to the compound in Kusagakure. Sake, un." He said as he rested a hand on my leg.

"Are you asking me to castrate you?" He gave me a little smile and we landed on the outskirts of the Land of Rain.

I knew we were supposed to remain together. I knew all of that mumbo jumbo about teamwork and partnerships. Sunagakure wasn't far away. Somewhere, in that village, was the Kazekage.

"Deidara, I'm not going back yet." I pulled a black book from my side pouch and leafed through the pages.

"Going on a solo mission?" He was slightly offended, but didn't insult me as others would have.

"There's an assassination request in Suna that is offering good money and the promise of a clan secret. It would please the leader if-," Deidara cut me off by nudging me.

"You like the former _jinchuuriki_ of the sand! Love, huh, un?!" I slapped him on the back of the head and turned away to hide my red cheeks. "You're secret is safe with me, un!" He smiled and got back onto his bird.

"Be careful..." It was odd for me to express such emotion.

We parted ways. He left upon his work of art, destined to arrive in a depressing underground compound; I began the long walk through the desert that led to my former beloved. I was destined to arrive in a monotonic desert village, and I was sure that I wouldn't be welcomed.

As the sun beat down on me, I was grateful for the black cloak and straw hat that I wore. In thought, I twisted the ring that adorned my left middle finger. I had been moved from Amegakure to Sunagakure at a young age. My parents promised me that it was only for my protection.

I didn't understand why they were pushing me away. It wasn't even a week after I arrived in Suna when I got a message a daughter never wanted to receive. My parents had been killed. I was completely cut off, and I had no warm thoughts. I expected that my grandfather, Hanzo, who'd taken my sister in would also take me in. I was wrong.

My pace slowed until I came to a dead stop. I hadn't embraced my memories since I was nine years old, the day I found out about the organization known as Akatsuki.

"State your business." I looked up and saw that the sand shinobi were interrogating a traveling vendor.

Glancing at the walls of the city, I took refuge in the valley between two sand dunes. Removing my straw hat, I contemplated a way to enter the village as an innocent instead of an Akatsuki member. I slipped off my cloak and removed the chopsticks that held my long brown hair in place. Folding my cloak and hat, I sealed them in a summoning scroll.

"State your business." A guard intercepted me as I approached the gates.

"I am a medic nin returning from a mission in the rain," I said in code.

"Name?" He asked stoically.

"Nakamura Kiyo." Nodding to the other guards, the man waved me inside.

I glanced over my shoulder as I entered the village. The guards were busy interrogating another innocent old man. My Suna symbol gleamed in the evening sunlight, and a small smile graced my lips.

"Good thing I always keep a spare," I thought and patted my hitai-ate.

"Rare fruits! Fresh vegetables! Good prices!" One merchant announced loudly.

"You, there! Perhaps you'd like a mirror imported from the mist, or a protective charm for a loved one!" A homely woman called to me.

"How about a palm reading?" An old woman attracted my attention.

"Fine," I said and tossed some bills upon her worn stall stand.

She smiled and took my left hand into her wrinkly grasp. Feeling my palm, she closed her eyes and began to mutter foreign words. Resting my head on my right hand, I stared at the beautiful sand. This was my real home.

"Hm. Your sister is in grave danger, yet you are far from her. Tell me child, why does blood betray blood?" I gave the woman a shallow shrug and focused my attention on her. "I see that you are alone. I am sorry," She said and gave my hand a little pat.

"How many other customers have you fed this shit to?" The woman cackled and revealed her missing teeth.

"I see someone in your eyes," She said and released my hand. "Is he the reason why you hid everything you are?" Upon hearing those words, I stumbled away from her booth.

"Old hag," I muttered and turned to walk away.

"Embarrassment is natural for one who does not understand emotions. The Kazekage's tower isn't far from here." As I turned to her in shock, I found that the stall was empty.

"Are you all right?" A woman asked and touched my arm.

"You look sick!" The woman's young daughter said.

"I'm fine. I...just need to get home," I said and pushed my way through the crowd.

It was a mistake to dig up the dirt that had settled over the grave of my past. The old fortune-teller made me realize that I had a duty more important than the duty of my cold heart. I was in Suna to complete a mission for my leader, not for the slim chance that _he_ would forgive my betrayal.

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_Author Rant_

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_I haven't looked over this story for a while. I hope everything is in order. I am very sorry if something is not. _

_Next Chapter: _**Changes**

_Reviews are...I'm so tired of saying it. Why bother?_

_Ja ne._


	3. Changes

**Disclaimer:** I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. Grr,...not Rock Lee. :(

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**_Changes_**

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The buildings all looked the same. Sand and clay created walls, stores, and streets. There were no trees to shade me from the heat.

"Hey there." I sighed and turned to face the boy that whistled at me.

"Lame," I muttered and allowed him to stroke my cheek. "Kankuro...," I began, but he cut me off by placing a finger on my lips.

"So you've heard of me. I hope it wasn't all bad," He purred.

"Kankuro, it's me," I said, but he ignored me.

"Of course it's you," He smiled and continued to flirt with me.

"It's me, you idiot!" I snarled and kicked him in the shin.

"Fuck! Ow!" He grabbed his shin and glared at me. "K-Kiyo?" His eyes widened, and his face paled.

"Nice to see you again, hentai," I said with a half-smile.

None of them knew the truth. My cloak and hat had shielded my identity during _his_ capture; now, however, I was vulnerable. My guilt ate me from the inside out. If only I could tell _him_.

"You've been gone for over three years, Kiyo, a lot has changed since then," Kankuro spoke as I walked alongside him.

"I did not think they would stay the same," I said as I glanced over at him.

The design he'd painted on his face was different than I remembered. From the side, he appeared more mature. Though a light blush colored my cheeks, I felt sad. I could have remained in the sand and become the hunter nin I always wanted to be; instead, I was a murderer.

"Something wrong?" I noticed that we had stopped walking, and he was giving me a serious look.

"How is...?" I couldn't manage to say his name or his title.

"Kazekage-sama?" Kankuro asked with a Cheshire cat grin.

His grin faded as we entered a large building at the center of the village. A few people bustled about with stacks of paperwork, but, otherwise, it was calm. He gazed up the large staircase, but didn't say anything.

"He's fine now. He's no longer a _jinchuuriki_, and he can actually go to sleep," Kankuro said with a sigh.

"Do not lie to me," I said softly.

"Physically, he is as strong as ever; mentally, he is weak. I think the best thing for him just walked through those doors," Kankuro said and nodded to the doors we'd just entered.

"It has been over three years, Kankuro; people change." He grinned and shook his head at my words.

"What happened to the girl that beat up all the boys at the academy? What happened to the Kiyo that used to tell us about her fantasies of killing the man that hurt her '_love_'?" Kankuro said with his sneaky grin.

"She grew up." I said aloud and turned away from his gaze. "Those days are over, my friend. In the end, I turned into the monster that I swore I'd kill. I was the one that hurt _him_," I thought and played with the hem of my black, fitting t-shirt.

"This is the Kazekage's building. It used to be the jail, but we fixed a few things. I'd love to show a pretty girl around, but I have a mission that I need to begin. The Kazekage's office is on the third floor; it's the only room there." He gave me a hug and looked me over. "If you weren't Kiyo...," He began, but I cut him off with a snarl.

His flirting made me feel good about my appearance, but it was very awkward. In Akatsuki, the only person that really noticed was my companion, Deidara. Kisame was polite to me, but he was only polite because I had wanted to be his apprentice at one point. Ah! I was so childish when I entered the steely organization.

Slowly making my way up the winding staircase, I began to think of bad scenarios. If Ga-_he _found out about my affiliation with the S-ranked criminals, he would be forced to sentence me to death. Of course, he would be the one killing me. How ironic.

"..." I hesitated when I came to the end of the staircase.

A dark hallway stood before me, and, at the very end, double doors stared back at me with their maple veneer. The scene of his capture replayed over and over in my mind, and I found myself turning away. I didn't want to head down that road.

"Where do you think you're going?" A pair of blue-green eyes gave me a steely look.

"Temari?" Her look changed to one of confusion, then to realization.

"Do you have a meeting with the Kazekage?" She still didn't remember me?

"It's me...Kiyo?" I said to try and jog her memory.

"Kiyo? Kiyo?!" Her eyes were alight with recognition, and a grin spread across her face. "You definitely aren't a little girl anymore. I remember that you were the shortest girl in Sunagakure!" Temari said and compared my height to her own.

"Yes, I have grown some," I chuckled.

"Still as serious as ever," Temari said and lost her grin. "I can allow it this time, but sign in before you go walking through the building. Security is supposed to be tight...-," I cut her off by mentioning her brother's name, and she rolled her eyes. "He always brings someone in off the streets. At least it wasn't another assassin," She laughed.

Hesitantly, I laughed along with her. Again, I managed to lie to someone I cared for. My part in Akatsuki had not yet become known in Suna or Konoha, so I was able to move about freely; however, if they got their hands on the latest bingo book, I was screwed. I had been allowed to return to the rain, so I was not labeled a missing nin, but I did not truly go to the Land of Rain. I joined Akatsuki.

"He's in a bad mood." Temari led me down the hall to the office door.

"When isn't he?" She gave me a small smile upon hearing my words.

"He was angry when you left. We were all pretty pissed off. Eventually, we came to accept the fact that Suna wasn't for you. Tell me, Kiyo, why are you back?" She blocked me from turning the doorknob and entering the office.

"Even though I was powerful, the former Kazekage would not recognize me. He looked down on me because I was from Amegakure. I couldn't stay here. I found better elsewhere," I said and allowed an impassive expression to fall over my features.

"Now I know why you left. Why are you back, and now of all times?" She looked me right in the eye when she spoke.

"I...do not know," I admitted with a sigh. "I do not know what I expect to gain from this visit. Am I truly here for the assassination of the Oonishi Clan leader, or am I here for personal feelings? Do I care for Sabaku no Gaara?" My cheeks turned red at my thoughts, and Temari inspected me with a satisfied expression.

"Gaara, there is someone to see you," Temari announced as she knocked three times on the door.

"Come in," A bored voice replied.

As Temari shoved me inside and closed the door, I found that things seemed to move in slow motion. _He_ sat at his desk, ruffling through papers. His head was bowed, and I became entranced with the shade of his hair. It was the color of blood, yet it did not instill fear in my being.

I saw us together when we were younger, swinging on the swing set and playing hopscotch on a section of uncovered pavement. His smile. His beautiful eyes, a shade of inhuman blue; they were as pure as freshly fallen snow. The strong leader before me was no longer a little boy. Somewhere along the way, he had grown; I had grown.

"_Konbanwa_, Gaara-kun." His shuffling stopped, and he slowly raised his head to look at me.

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_Author Rant_

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_Aww, I just love Gaara! Please, don't hurt me!_

_Okay, being serious. There's really nothing else to say. If anyone should have questions, feel free to ask in a review. I respond quickly because I have alerts on my computer that make an annoying sound when someone does review._

_When Kiyo refers to "him" or "he" and it is in italics, it his in reference to Gaara._

_Konbanwa means _good evening.

_Reviews are loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	4. North Star

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. I wish I owned Gaara...

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**_North Star_**

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I approached his desk with slow, steady steps. His expression said that he remembered me, but vaguely. I sat down in one of the chairs provided and folded my hands upon my lap, a nervous habit I obtained from my late mother.

"Address me as Kazekage-sama or Gaara-san." He said and returned his eyes to his paperwork.

"Is that the punishment for abandonment nowadays?" I asked with some humor.

"I don't wish to know about your horrible childhood," He replied emotionlessly.

"_Kazekage-sama_, I was not referring to my childhood," I said evenly, "I was referring to you."

His pale eyes flickered to me, and I regained his attention. He was in a bad mood. It wasn't hard to tell.

"Do you remember me?" He surveyed me and I could see the thoughtful look in his eyes. "...Kiyo?" Recognition passed over him, and his expression darkened.

"You are not welcome here," He said and returned to his paperwork.

"No, he couldn't have-!" I thought and stood up. "I was given permission by the former Kazekage to remain in Amegakure for as long as I pleased!" I slammed my palm down on his paperwork, and he slammed a letter opener down between my fingers.

I didn't go to Suna to make enemies with him. Slowly, I retracted my hand and apologized. My hopes seemed to crumble and sprinkle around me like an aura of misfortune. I never had any chance at regaining his trust, his friendship, or even his heart.

"I am sorry to have bothered you," I said levelly and left the room.

I tried, that was what mattered. Taking out my summoning scroll, I prepared to don the garbs of Akatsuki and flee the Sand, but a hand came down on my shoulder.

"Are you giving up already?" Temari gave me a judgmental look. "Maybe you aren't the same Kiyo after all."

"Temari, I see you still don't know when to hold your tongue," I said in an equally crude tone.

We shared a small smile, and she removed her hand from my shoulder. As she led the way down the staircase, I couldn't help but glance over my shoulder at _his _office. The door shut with a reverberating _click_, and I smiled a knowing smile. Perhaps, it wasn't too late.

"What's the ring for?" Temari glanced at my left hand where my Akatsuki ring remained.

"To remind me of what I stand for. A dear...friend gave it to me," I lied in a cool tone.

"North Star?" She said after another quick glance at the jewelry.

"One always follows the North Star to get home." She gave me a weird look, and I quickly looked away.

"Did he say anything?" Temari pried.

"He hates me. I am not surprised, are you?" I shut down her overbearing nature with my cross reaction.

"You should try to get him out of the office for something to eat. Do you want me to ask Kankuro to-?" I stopped her before she could plan my marriage to the distant Kazekage.

"Temari, I know you mean well, but I must do this on my own," I said with a tiny sigh.

"Do you want me to hit him?" My eyes widened at her forward manner.

"You would hit Gaara?!" Her eyes widened and she waved her hands in a negative manner.

"Kankuro. I heard that he tried to sexually assault you," Temari said with a laugh.

"Oh, him. No. I did not mean that I needed to deal with Kankuro on my own. I meant-," She silenced me with another laugh.

"I know what you meant, Kiyo, I just wanted to see your reaction." She led me inside of a large building across from the building we'd just left. "We still live in the same building. It needs some new paint or...," She smirked at the bland walls of their home.

"It looks the same as it did when I left," I said in awe.

"I told you nobody would notice the flowers you put out. Can we get rid of them?" Kankuro sneezed and covered his runny nose with another tissue.

"Those flowers were imported from Konoha. I paid-!" Temari shouted.

"I know what you paid! You only got them because Shikamaru-," Temari punched Kankuro in the head with her shaking fist.

"Come on, I'll show you to a room," Temari snarled and tugged on my arm.

To my surprise, I found myself giggling. I hadn't giggled since I was a little girl, and it felt great. I found myself wondering what the rest of the men in Akatsuki would think of me if they found out that I mingled with the Sunagakure villagers and giggled over Temari's innocent crush.

"This is the best I can do. The former Kazekage had the other guest rooms closed off. This room was reopened because it's so near to Gaara's. He likes to keep an eye on our guests," Temari said as she opened the curtains to allow the setting sunlight into the stale room.

I found myself reminiscing over the times I played hide-and-seek in the Kazekage's Tower. I fell once, and I was sobbing over a small scrape on my knee. Before he became so hateful, Gaara was kind and gentle. He was the one that helped me up and put a band-aid on my scrape.

"It is fine," I replied and took a seat on the large bed.

"You didn't bring anything with you," Temari frowned and looked at the empty wardrobe.

"I will go shopping later," I said with a shrug.

"I can have the store remain open after hours. I'll make a phone call," Temari said and left me alone.

"She is still bossy," I thought with a sigh of contentment.

I took a seat on the windowsill and looked out over the desert. My sister and I would always share moments like that, yet she was no longer with me. We were so much alike, yet she was not afraid to live her life, not like I was. I took refuge in a criminal organization; she, despite being kept indoors all the time, remained with her loved ones.

She did not deny her emotions. She would not fake anything just to please someone. That was what truly separated the two of us. I would deny my emotions at every chance I got, and I would lie to even my closest of companions. I lived the life of a sinner.

"Temari wants you downstairs. She said something about shopping," Kankuro spoke from the doorway.

"Kankuro, do you feel?" He seemed taken aback by my question, and he faltered in his stance.

"Shinobi have confusing emotions. People weren't meant to kill other people...I guess we learn to adjust by dulling emotions. I feel, don't you?" He looked like his old self with that curious look on his face, and I covered my hand to stifle my laughter. "What the hell? Is this some kind of joke? Did Temari set this up?" Kankuro demanded as his cheeks turned a lovely shade of red.

"I've never heard you talk like that before. You sounded so mature," I said and walked over to pinch his cheek.

"See if I answer anymore of your questions," He muttered in embarrassment and marched away.

_He _was watching from the top of the staircase. His eyes held an emotion that resembled curiosity, but he did not show it as plainly as Kankuro did. I opened my mouth to speak to him, but he walked by without acknowledging my existence. With the slam of his door, he was gone.

"Come on, the store's open for us." Temari motioned for me to hurry up.

I knew what my heart wanted, but I did not listen. If Oren were in my place, I was sure that she would've ran right to Gaara and confessed everything she felt. I was not Oren. I did not say such things.

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_Author Rant_

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_Yeah, I had to compare/contrast Kiyo and Oren. I didn't want them to be too close to the same personality. Oren voiced what she wanted, even if it did make her rather unhappy. Kiyo would rather have her emotions remain a secret. After all, Akatsuki don't usually giggle and pick flowers, do they? Yeah, I think they should too._

_Just a reminder that every "he" and "him" in italics is referring to Gaara unless stated otherwise. _

_Next Chapter: **Among the Stars**_

_Thank you for all the reviews. I love my readers:)_

_Reviews are always loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	5. Among the Stars

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. I wish I owned Gaara :(

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**_Among the Stars_**

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I allowed Temari to choose my wardrobe, since it satisfied her overbearing attitude and got her off my back. She was dear to me, but I knew not to interrupt her when she was in the mood to run things.

"Black or red?" I vaguely heard Temari ask.

"Both," I replied absent-mindedly.

The sky was full of twinkling stars, and the moon cast a gentle glow into the shop's front window. My reflection was pleasing, but my eyes were empty. Emotion cancelled emotion and left me without a care. I did not like feeling so empty.

"Put it on the Kazekage's tab," Temari said as the shop owner rang up the articles of clothing and beauty supplies.

"Should you be putting this on Gaara's tab? I brought money, you know," I frowned and stuck my hand into the pocket of my black pants.

"He said it was okay." Those words made me stop searching for money and remain silent.

"Are you lying?" Temari gave me a sly smile and moved in to gauge my reaction.

"Would you believe me if I told you I wasn't?" She laughed at my surprised reaction and we divided the many bags amongst the two of us.

"You did not see the way he looked at me. He reacted so violently. I should have left," I thought aloud.

"Now you sound pathetic," Temari snorted.

Did I truly sound so pathetic? Is this what Gaara did to me? I remembered the reason I was staying in Suna and resigned to complete the job as soon as I could. A calming silenced enveloped us as we walked back towards the Kazekage's Tower.

"Who is Shikamaru?"

Temari dodged the question as nimbly as she could, and left me in the living room of the home without so much as a goodbye. My bags were thrown onto the sofa with little care, and I plopped down beside them. For some reason, I felt that Temari was struck with the cursed arrow of love.

I sat on that couch for some time, unsure of which direction to go. The Oonishi Clan would be easy to take care of if I used my kekkei genkai, but I would be forced to leave as soon as the mission was completed. If I rushed the mission, I rushed my exit; I would leave knowing that my relationship with _him_ had been severed entirely.

"You're up late." A boxer-clad Kankuro yawned and scratched his head.

"Late night snack? You know it goes straight to your thighs, beautiful," I taunted him.

"I didn't know it was you," He scowled and went into the kitchen for a glass of milk.

"Kankuro, has Gaara really changed?" I had heard the rumor that Gaara now cared about the people that once feared and hated him.

"Ever since his fight with Naruto, he's been more considerate," Kankuro replied with a nod as he drank from the carton of milk.

"Pig," I frowned and headed back to my guest room.

As I passed the row of windows lining the hall, I saw a familiar figure out on the slanted roof of the building. Hiding in the shadows, I watched as Gaara looked out over his village with a calm, calculated expression. One star stood out amongst the rest—the North Star.

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_Author Rant_

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_This chapter wasn't very long. It is a filler chapter to an extent, but I liked the ending. If people wish to complain, I understand completely,...but the next chapter has some alone time with Gaara. Do the readers catch my drift?_

_No,...there is no smut. Smut is no substitute for a romantic evening, ne? _

_Next Chapter: **Rigor Mortis **_

**_Kiyo gets some alone time with Gaara. She also gets a HUGE surprise._**

_Reviews are loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	6. Rigor Mortis

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.

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**_Rigor Mortis_**

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I found myself in the desert of Suna. I was on the rooftop of a tall building, staring down at Deidara and _him_. I had three explosives in my hand, and I hesitated on throwing them. I knew what would happen if I betrayed either person, yet I found myself releasing the deadly birds into the sky like graceful butterflies.

As his sand trickled from around him, allowing his vulnerable body to free fall, I felt like I had been the one that was hit with an explosive. His body hit the ground with a sickening _thump_, and I had to turn away from the sight. In the back of my mind, I saw myself on the swing set with him. I saw myself laughing with him. And then, all at once, I saw the life being drained from his body.

I had almost lost my place in Akatsuki by crying out his name in the middle of the whole "drawing out the demon" process. Deidara had to escort me out because he thought that I would be brash enough to run over and attempt to save the Suna boy. To be honest, if I weren't excluded from the rest of the process, I would have. I would have done the one thing I never imagined myself doing. I would have followed my heart.

"_...the anger and sadness will just eat you alive until there's nothing left."_

I awoke in a cold sweat. Placing my hand upon my chest, I tried to steady my beating heart. The words that brought me out of my nightmare had been said by Oren, I was sure. She was safe, but for how long?

I shoved the blankets off as if they were poisoned and left my room for the cool hallway. Leaning on the windowsill, I stared out at the full moon. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that _he _was still outside. He hadn't moved at all.

As his eyes flickered to where I was standing, I ducked into the shadows. When he looked away, I found myself walking towards his bedroom for entrance into his secret place.

"What do you need?" His voice didn't seem as harsh as it had in his office, and I took it that he had calmed down.

Sinking onto the roof beside him, I stretched my legs out and leaned back onto my hands. My posture was open and suggested that I was not afraid or insecure, and he took note of it. I did not answer his question, but he didn't think that I would. We both knew it.

"I thought that you would be asleep," I said and gave him a small smile.

"Insomnia is a hard habit to break," He replied without looking at me.

"I am sorry...that I was not there to-," His sudden movement made me stop, even if it was just the movement of his hand away from my own.

"You wouldn't have made a difference," Gaara said as he stared at the palms of his hands. "I still feel...-," He balled his hands into fists and glared at the moon. "Why are you here?"

"I saw you sitting out here-," He glared at me to signal that he meant something else. "I wanted to see you," I thought, but didn't say aloud. "I had business in the area and decided to stop by," I said, since it wasn't entirely a lie.

"What business do you have in Sunagakure?" His expression had calmed to impassivity, his most common emotion.

"I had heard of your time with Akatsuki," I said quietly and found myself shivering.

I looked him over as he admired the skies. He had grown taller, stronger, and stabler. His voice was deeper, and it lost the ring of innocence it once held. Looking at him, I couldn't imagine bearing any part of the pain he suffered growing up. I was the one that used to dry his tears, long before his tears just stopped coming—long before he stopped seeing me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I found that he was looking me in the eyes, and my cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.

"Why...? Am I blushing? Kami-sama!" I thought and turned away. "Looking at you like what, Gaara-san?" I played the ignorant card as I had been taught long ago.

"Don't play coy with me." He had a hard look on his face, and he looked away. "What was that look?" He seemed confused and flustered. "Why were you blushing?"

"People blush when they are embarrassed," I said as if he wouldn't know.

"Why were you embarrassed?" He thought to himself as he looked down at the old roof.

He had sat upon the roof many times in his childhood. When he was afraid or angry or sad, he would escape to that place and let everything out. He did not understand why I did the things I did, and it only served to anger him.

"North?" I looked up at him and saw that his eyes were on my Akatsuki ring.

I resisted the urge to hide my hand, for it would only attract his curiosity more. I twisted the ring in thought, and gave him a tiny nod.

"Is it from your special person?" I almost laughed at his question, but I quickly passed it off as a cough.

"No. My special person...," I looked over at him and saw that he was not looking at me, "my special does not return my feelings."

He frowned and gave a curt nod of understanding. He didn't mind sharing personal conversations as long as they were one-sided. Sometimes, I swore that he had the conversations just so he could ignore them; however, I was sure that he listened then.

"Do...you have a special someone?" I asked in an indifferent way.

"..." He threw me a glare and ignored the question.

"Well, you...aren't that bad, you know. Someone could...feel...that way about you, but she could be afraid to tell you," I rambled.

"Momoko Usagi," He said unhappily.

"Hm?" I perked up at the feminine name.

"The council...decided," He said shortly and admired the palms of his hands. "I still feel him—Shukaku."

"I'm glad," I said and received a curious glance from the former _jinchuuriki_.

I felt the confusing emotions long before he had become a monster. I felt them when I saw him murdering innocent people. I was sure, as I sat there under the full moon, that I felt the same. I would be happy for Gaara and his bride-to-be, as happy as my anger and despondence would allow.

"_Oyasumi nasai_, Gaara-san," I said as I got to my feet.

"Gaara." He looked up at me with his calm face, and I felt myself smiling against my will.

"_Oyasumi nasai_, _Gaara_."

* * *

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_I have about five chapters left. I will alert everyone right now that one chapter is very short. Short chapters seem to have more meaning._

_I **despise** Momoko Usagi. -.-_

_Yesterday, I wanted to update my story. Sadly, the site would not allow it. I am very sorry._

_Next Chapter**: Jealousy**_

**_Who is that cheery blonde at the dinner table? Did she just insult Kiyo?!_**

_Reviews are always loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	7. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.

**_Jealousy_**

.-.-.-.-.-.

I remained in my room until the sun rose. I had a feeling that Gaara went without sleep, and it made me feel...sad. Seeing him, I had the urge to protect him from the most dangerous person in his world—himself.

"BREAKFAST!" Temari shouted from downstairs.

As I left my room, I stared at the floor in thought. I bumped into something, and I looked up in surprise. My green eyes met his pale blue orbs, and my cheeks turned crimson.

"I am sorry, Gaara," I apologized sincerely.

"Hn." He brushed it off and made his way downstairs in his Kazekage robes.

The address for the Oonishi Clan was tucked into the kunai pouch on my thigh. Temari's taste in wardrobe left me wearing a white tank top layered beneath a netted top and a black skirt with shorts beneath it. I found the clothing to be comfortable but revealing. I longed for my Akatsuki cloak, yet I knew the two worlds could never collide.

"No, Usagi, I don't need your damn-!" Kankuro protested, but Gaara sent him a steely look.

"See? Doesn't it taste better? You shouldn't have so much sugar and you wouldn't need the make-up to conceal those awful blemishes!" A cheery voice replied and giggled. "Oh! Is this the girl?! My name's Usagi, you must be Kiyo!" The blonde smiled and shook my hand.

"Ugh," I thought but forced a shaky smile.

"Pfft." Kankuro glared at the wall and shoved his plate of celery away.

"Would you like some healthy celery sticks, Kiyo-chan?" Usagi asked and held out a serving tray full of celery.

"I hate celery." The girl's smile dimmed some, but didn't die off completely.

"Celery is good for you! It would help you lose weight and increase your speed, since you're a shinobi," Usagi offered with the same stupid smile.

"Is something wrong with my weight?" I did not take the bait and snap at her, but asked her the question in a calm voice.

"A girl can never be too healthy!" Usagi beamed.

"..." Temari was gritting her teeth to keep from saying something harsh.

Glancing at the nasty celery, I heard a _crunch_ come from the end of the table. Gaara was actually eating the food, despite the fact that he hated the vegetable. Weakly, I waved the girl off. She made me angry, but it was cold rage.

"Perhaps he cares for this girl," I thought idly as I looked down at my empty plate.

"Where are you going?" Usagi chirped as I left the table.

"Out."

"Without eating breakfast?" Usagi pouted.

"When I see something edible, I'll eat," I replied with a hidden smile.

I heard Temari and Kankuro quietly laughing, and I heard Usagi run out of the room. The cheery girl brought it upon herself; I felt no guilt. As I made my way down the streets of Suna, I felt like my anger was growing. A normal girl changed him.

I tripped as I noticed another person fall in step beside me. Looking up, I found myself looking at the Kazekage himself.

"You made her cry," Gaara said without care.

"She insulted me, your guest, yet you didn't pause to slap her wrist. Is this intervention, Kazekage-sama?" I used his title and he visibly cringed.

"You were to call me Gaara," He said as he looked down on me.

"I was sure that the honor had passed when you let that...girl...insult me," I said with a tiny shrug.

I knew how to keep my emotions contained. On the outside, I was calm and indifferent; on the inside, I was furious and ready to kill. Whether I felt something for Gaara or not, I wanted to complete the mission and be rid of the cheery blonde known as Momoko Usagi.

"I am not your protector," Gaara said as he walked towards his office building.

"I wish...that you were," I found myself whispering.

His steps halted to signal that he heard me, but he didn't turn around. Blending into the crowd, I left him at his office in favor of finding the Oonishi Clan compound. I tensed as I placed my earpiece in and heard the familiar buzz of sound.

"_How is the Kazekage, un?" _Deidara asked over the secure line.

"You should be asking his fiancee that," I snarled and shocked myself.

"_You sound jealous,"_ I heard Kisame chuckle in the background.

"_Give it back, un!"_ Deidara shouted.

I turned the earpiece off and slipped it into my kunai pouch. I had better things to do than listen to those two argue. I spotted a large building that stood off from the others. The Oonishi Clan, well-known for their unique medic and killing kekkei genkai, was an unusual target for Akatsuki, but I was not to question the mission.

"So, tonight, you die," I said as I looked at a picture of the clan leader.

My focus was wavering at best. I kept picturing Usagi's cheerful smile. Is that the kind of girl Gaara likes? Did he never—of course he never felt those emotions for me, he didn't understand them. I tore the picture to little pieces and allowed the shreds to scatter in the light wind.

"I should never have come." I turned and walked away.

* * *

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Does Gaara really care for Momoko Usagi? Will Kiyo really complete her mission and leave Gaara for good? Oh, the suspense:)_

_Gaara has billions of fans. It kind of ticks me off. That's where I got the idea for Momoko Usagi. She is a character brought out of his billions of fans to marry him. Lucky freak, isn't she?_

_Next Chapter**: Paralyzed **_

**_Kiyo dons the Akatsuki garbs and sets off on her mission! Will she complete it? Is that a guard in the shadows?!_**

_**Note: **Someone has messaged me about Momoko Usagi. She is an OC. If she were from another anime (no doubt there is some chick with the name out there), I would have put it in the disclaimer. Thanks:)_

_Reviews are loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	8. Paralyzed

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.

* * *

**_Paralyzed_**

.-.-.-.-.-.

From my room, I could hear Usagi telling a riveting, humorous tale. I could hear Kankuro and Temari laughing, and it angered me. I was dressed in my Akatsuki cloak, and I had pulled my long brown hair up with a pair of black chopsticks. The hat, I held in my hands, unsure of whether I was ready or not.

A knock came at the door, and I walked over to the window without hesitation. I had told the sand siblings that I was too ill to join them for the late evening meal. I lied, such an easy thing for me to do.

"Kiyo?" I dropped my hat in surprise and grabbed it before it fell to the ground below.

"I am ill," I said as a sad smile graced my features.

"You're lying," The doorknob turned, and I turned to face _him_.

Taking a step backwards, I fell from the window before he could even glimpse my form. I landed nimbly upon the roof of a nearby home, and I stuck to the sandy rooftops for some time afterwards. I had almost let him see me in my Akatsuki cloak. All that I regained would have been thrown to the wind, just like the picture of my target.

"Foolish Kiyo!" I mentally scolded myself.

My foot slipped suddenly, and I found that sand encircled my ankle. Crouching to maintain my balance, I turned to glare at the man that trapped me. Did I truly believe another had discovered me? Of course, it was the Kazekage, protecting his mighty village.

He could not see any of my features, and I was glad. As the sand shifted and released my ankle, I rose to my full height and looked him in the eyes. He appeared calm, deathly calm.

"I'll kill you for coming back to this village," He said as he raised his hand to control his sand.

"Do not do this! Not now!" I thought and dodged his sand attacks. "I can't fight him like this! Kami-sama...why have you forsaken me?" I thought as I jumped to a different roof. "Stay back!" I growled and threw a barrage of poison senbon at him.

A layer of sand shielded him from my attacks, and I crouched to avoid his return attack. I saw his hand raise once more to direct the sand into the sand prison burial, and I began doing hand signs as quickly as I could. **Ox**. **Dragon**. **Pig**. **Snake**. **Ox**. **Rat**.

"_Mizu no Yaiba _(Sword of Water)!" I exclaimed just as a giant wall of sand rushed towards me.

**Right**. **Left**. **Swing**. **Slash**. **Left**. **Back**. **Jump**. **Slash**. The sand trickled to the ground after making contact with my blade, and I stood, heaving, upon a shadowy roof. Gaara seemed impressed, but his expression was still very dark.

"Water attacks," he commented as sand encased me from behind.

"AAHH!" I screamed as the sand tightened and cracked a few of my ribs. "I...have...to...get...OUT!" I thought and struggled to move my arms. "He is going to kill me." A tear fell from my eye and dampened the sand that bound me. "_Konbanwa_, _Gaara-kun_."

"...!" His eyes widened, and the sand fell from around me like he'd been burned.

I reached up with a shaky hand and removed my straw hat. Recognition lit his face. Memories of his capture replayed behind his crystal orbs. He knew I had betrayed him. It was over.

"I did not mean for it to happen." I bowed my head and the chopsticks fell from my hair.

"You are Kiyo of Akatsuki," Gaara said as a harshness returned to his features.

"_Hai_," I said as I looked at him.

My short-lived dream of taking refuge in his arms was shattered. Removing my cloak, I allowed my right foot to slide back into a defensive stance. I was at a disadvantage, but I had to fight. If not for my life, than for his respect. If not for that, than for the small chance of him understanding.

I did not mean to hurt my special person. As I stood there, the cool evening wind kissing my tear-stained cheeks, my muscles tightened. One person would not walk away. Either way, I lost.

* * *

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_I did not want to post this. It's the major turn in the story. It makes me so sad! Now, I think everyone can feel that the end is near._

_Hai - Yes_

_Konbanwa - Good Evening_

**NOTE: **_There are many different spellings for such words as Konbanwa and those to come. I have used the spellings that I found sites and books to back. _

_I would like mention that the jutsu (Sword of Water) Kiyo used was taken from a real jutsu. As with most powers, one can easily experiment with a jutsu to make it stronger and more accurate. She devised that jutsu for use against Gaara, but only in defense. _

_Gaara cannot manipulate wet sand. I have researched it._

_Next Chapter: **Kokoro: **Heart_

**_Does Kiyo die, or does she lose the love of her life? What is the voice that gives her strength?_**

_Reviews are loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	9. Kokoro

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.

**_Kokoro_**

.-.-.-.-.-.

He had clutched his head in pain, but he removed his hands when I went into my defensive stance. His emotional turmoil would not play a part in the battle. I was an S-ranked criminal of Akatsuki, and it was his job to dispose of me.

"I have to use my kekkei genkai," I thought and closed my eyes to focus my chakra. "Genjutsu! _Hoshi no Umi_!" I exclaimed and accompanied my words with the hand seals of the dog and monkey.

"Genjutsu!" Gaara thought as a pain coursed up his spine.

Despite the strengthening genjutsu, he sent a massive wave a sand along the ground. I dodged as best I could and used the leftover water from the sword to create a clone. Soaking a small area of sand, I landed on a knee and watched as the genjutsu progressed to his long-term memories.

With my kekkei genkai, I could see exactly what he was seeing. I saw the children refusing to play with him and calling him names. His childhood self crumbled when he lost Yashamaru. He was screaming, but he lashed out at me with a more deadly attack. As I became trapped in his sand, he fought against the genjutsu to end the battle.

"_Sabaku Sousou_!" He exclaimed at the exact same time as I called out my jutsu.

"_Himawari no Mai_!" I could hear my bones cracking as my whip of chakra lashed out at him.

Choking, blood exploded from my mouth. Weak, I lost control over my genjutsu. Gaara approached me with a sweat-covered brow. His eyes were full of anger, hatred, and pain. He watched me suffocating as my lungs filled with blood.

"You came here to kill me," He said as an emotionless mask concealed his weaknesses.

"_Iie_...," I struggled to speak.

I tugged on the whip, and his eyes widened. Using _Himawari no Mai_, I was draining his chakra. His stance wavered as he began to lose consciousness. The sand began to trickle from my body, freeing me from the deadly bind.

"I...came...," I fell upon my knees in my center of wet sand, the only area that he couldn't control, "I...came...for...you." He slumped to the sand and glared at me with as much strength as he could muster.

I could have left the whip to drain him of all his chakra. I would have lived to see him die. I would have done a great thing for Akatsuki.

"_Can...we just stay like this? Just for a little while..." _

I blinked as I heard Oren's voice. Her voice was full of an emotion I had yet to express. Cradling my broken ribs, fighting to breathe despite my punctured lungs, I crawled towards Gaara. I did not wish to die a murderer. I wanted to repent. Kami-sama!

"...!" I collapsed at his side, unable to reach him.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at his heaving shoulders. He was weak from lack of chakra. He would live. I could have won. I should have killed him and returned to Akatsuki with the Oonishi Clan's secret kekkei genkai. I could have. I should have. I did nothing.

"..." I knew I couldn't speak, so I raised my tired arm to brush the hair from the kanji on his forehead.

_Ai._ Love. I did love him. I loved a monster. I, too, was a monster. Only monsters would kill innocent people. Only monsters would betray their families. Only a monster would attempt to kill her beloved.

Using my chakra, I was able to create an illusion that would block the pain, but I did not create it. I wanted his face to be the last thing I saw.

"I am sorry, Oren. I am sorry, mother,...father,...Temari,...Kankuro,...Deidara,...Kisame,...even that bastard, Itachi. Most of all, I am sorry,...Gaara." I thought as I gasped in pain.

"You'll die a traitor," Gaara said as he looked down at me.

"...," I nodded weakly. "Gaara-kun," I said softly, gaining a softer look from him. "Will you take me to the swing set?"

* * *

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_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_**:Vocabulary:   
**Sabaku Sousou - Desert Graveyard  
Hoshi no Umi - Sea of Stars  
Himawari no Mai - Dance of the Sunflower  
Iie - No_

_The swing set matters because they knew each other as children. Kids like swings, unless they're afraid to fall and die (I was)._

_I let my readers know what the title meant in the last chapter of the story, so I won't repeat it. The next chapter is very short, Kiyo is kind enough to explain why in the story. The next chapter is also the last chapter in the story; however, there is an epilogue!_

_Next Chapter: **Love**_

**_Is it really the end for Kiyo? Or, magically, will the authoress save her?! A star is never truly forgotten..._**

_Reviews are loverly!_

_Ja ne._


	10. Love

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way.

* * *

**_Love_**

.-.-.-.-.-.

I sat beside my childhood companion on the swing set that had once haunted both our dreams. The wind no longer bothered me; the night no longer seemed as cool. Slowly, I bent my knees to move the swing.

"Why did you come to Sunagakure?" He asked me as his swung moved back and forth in a gentle rhythm.

"Because...I wanted...to see my...special...person," I said between deep breaths.

His attention turned to me, and his expression was one of interest and cool detachment. In his eyes, I saw my reflection. Momoko Usagi did not exist. She would not be losing her love; I was losing him.

"Am I your special person?" He asked, though I was sure that we both knew the answer.

"_Hai_...Gaara-kun." I smiled sadly and removed the Akatsuki ring from my finger. "_Ai...shiteru..._." His eyes widened, and he reached for me as I fell off the swing.

My ring fell to the sand without a sound. Years of memories threatened to bury it, but his pale fingers grasped it before it was lost. He took me in his arms and carried me back to the Kazekage's Tower.

Love always was a short chapter. I lived in a world where the chapter didn't even exist. Hidden under years of dust, my emotions finally got to see the light of day. Though he did not say if he returned my feelings, I died without a heavy heart.

* * *

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_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_So, now everyone knows Kiyo's story. I know that some readers are angry with the outcome, and I must agree that it was unfair for Kiyo to die. Life itself is unfair._

_Hai - Yes_

_Ai shiteru (there are many spellings) - I love you_

_The epilogue is the only thing remaining to seal this story. It will be told in third person, but it will be focusing on Gaara. Oren, from **Kagami**, will be making her appearance. _

_Next Chapter: **Epilogue**_

_Reviews are loverly! I want to hear the feedback ;)_

_Ja ne._


	11. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I only own my OC(s) and the twists and turns along the way. No Gaara :(

* * *

**_Epilogue_**

.-.-.-.-.-.

The Kazekage kneeled beside a worn tombstone. Red clouds danced across the black fabric that remained hooked to the piece of decorative stone. On his left ring finger, he wore _her_ ring as a promise to himself and the special person he'd lost.

"Excuse me." Gaara looked up at the woman that interrupted his peaceful moment. "I...was looking for my sister." The woman held out a picture of two little girls.

Gaara looked back at the tombstone and got to his feet. Looking at the woman, he recognized the unique shade of her brown hair.

"Nakamura?" The woman gasped at the mention of her surname, but she nodded. "I haven't seen her," Gaara said as he turned to leave.

"How could you look me in the eye and lie to me?" Oren asked, her voice laced with sadness.

"Why are you looking for her now?" Gaara asked and looked over his shoulder at Oren.

"Because,...sometimes,...people don't realize what they have until it's almost gone," Oren said as she rested a hand over her heart and glanced at the tombstone. "Who was she?" Oren motioned to the grave.

"...Akatsuki," He said and hesitated to leave. "Are you a shinobi?"

"I'm just starting out," Oren spoke with embarrassment. "I thought that...Kiyo would be here. She was supposed to be here. She...we...said we'd meet again. I was trying to be strong," Oren rambled quietly.

"Oren!" Gaara turned to look at the person who'd shouted for the woman. "Gaara! It's been a few years," Naruto grinned with a little more reserve than he previously had.

"Naruto," Gaara said with a faint smile and an acknowledging nod. "Do you know Nakamura-san?"

"She's my wife," Naruto said proudly.

"Hn." Gaara fingered the ring that adorned his ring finger. "Could that have worked? Could we have married?" He thought as he looked up at the wispy clouds.

"Kazekage-sama, did you know Kiyo?" Oren asked as she noted the similarity between the sad face of her sister and the kage before her.

"Did I know _you_?" Gaara thought and pictured Kiyo giggling behind her hand. "I did not know _you_," Gaara said to himself.

"Gaara?" Naruto waved a hand in front of the man's face.

"You should come to dinner, Shikamaru is cooking," Gaara said with a look of amusement in his eyes.

"That lazy bum?!" Naruto said in surprise.

"Maybe he'll make ramen," Oren said with a smile.

Gaara caught the emotion that flickered through Oren's eyes. It was fleeing, but he knew it well. The woman had remembered someone special to her.

"Come on, Kazekage-sama, he'll eat all the food!" Oren laughed as Naruto ran ahead.

"Gaara," Gaara corrected her as he once corrected her sister.

"_Gaara_," Oren repeated with a smile as she grasped his hand. "I'm sorry that Kiyo couldn't have met you...you seem a lot like her. She would have loved you," Oren smiled sadly.

_How true_

* * *

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_Author Rant_

.-.-.-.-.-.

_Time to point out some obvious hints and facts. _

_"The woman had remembered someone special to her" is a shout out to Sasuke. It means that Oren still remembers Sasuke, and she still feels for him._

_"Her" in italics is referring to Kiyo._

_Now, people are wondering if he really married Usagi. I mean, the girl is annoying as hades, right? At the beginning of this epilogue, it is noted that he is wearing Kiyo's Akatsuki ring on his left ring finger. _

_Gaara did not marry Momoko Usagi._

_I'd like to thank everyone that read my story and stuck with it until the end! Thanks to every single person that reviewed!_

_You can review on the epilogue. I like reviews. :)_

_Sayonara._


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